SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
