so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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