I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
