You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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