I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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