I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
