she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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