I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
