Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he told me I talked like a deaf person
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
