Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
