What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you will always have a special place in my vag
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dear god my vagina.
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