Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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