Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
only if we run a train.
done.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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