That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
