I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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