Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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