i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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