i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize