when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
