is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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