I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
