i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
