it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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