I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
