She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize