So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
