Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
