At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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