I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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