two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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