This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
