if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
