He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize