i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
