I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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