my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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