That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
