She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize