get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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