My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
