do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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