Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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