He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
