this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
