the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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