it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
