You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
