i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
