...so i touched it.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
