I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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