Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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