Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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