Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
