I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
