well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
