Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
pray to the hookup gods
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
