I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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