Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you will always have a special place in my vag
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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