dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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