Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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