did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
