I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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