And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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