Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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