my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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