Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
