Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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